There is no such thing as fair

Fairness is something that only seems to exist in fairy tales anymore. Even then it is far a few between that you find yourself wrapped into a fair situation. A few years ago not knowing I would be where I am today I made the terrible decision to have my tubes tied. Cauterized of all the methods. Little did I know I would regret this decision emmensly. It saddens me that my now husband and I will have to jump through so many hoops just to have more children aside from the two I brought to the table. Which he loves as his own and would be in no way disappointed if they ended up our only children. However we will not go down without a fight as expanding our family is something we feel very deeply about. Now obviously my job is very demanding and I have to jump through hoops as I am required to maintain my flight physical to be capable of performing my job. Well I went to see the local doc to get a referral to OBGYN and see what my options were when it pertains to a tubal reversal. You would not believe how absolutely difficult that is to achieve. So much of a hassle and a rare chance of me being a candidate through the militaries program we have decided to go with IVF. Anyways back to my visit with my flight surgeon to discuss wanting to see an OBGYN about all of this baby making awesomeness. She was an absolute jerk about it all basically telling me how ignorant could I be to get them tied and now just three years later asking for them to be reversed. Yes I know I made a HUGE mistake, obviously as I was seeking help and support, guidance even. She offered nothing but criticism. Her final reaponses were that if I wanted her to even give me a referral to talk to an OBGYN about our options that I needed approval from my commander. Beyond unfair in my opinion. So basically what I got out of it was that it's okay for people who are capable of getting pregnant on their own to do so without involving everyone and their grandmother, by because I would need medial assistance it's not okay for me to seek that to get pregnant because they have some sort of control over if I can or can't conceive. Now tell me where there is any fairness in that at all. What's good for the goose should be good for the gander. Am I wrong? So weeks pass and I hear nothing I'm waiting on a referral that I would recieve if my command approves it. I got tired of waiting for everyone to do nothing. I informed my chain that I needed a meeting with the command to discuss this private matter. Little did I know they had all already discussed it and made a decision. Just left me hanging in the dark for God knows how long. Got my meeting with the command just to be told that they are saying no. And that if I seek outside help at this point to get pregnant without their permission that I will be punished. Are you kidding me! I don't even think that is legal. Seriously fairness, there is none. Oh did I mention like five females in my unit are all pregnant right now, I wonder if they needed command approval too. Oh wait I know they didn't. I feel that there is something legal preventing them from forbidding me at this time to conceive even if I pay for this out of my own pocket. My husband and I have decided upon return from deploying that regardless of the repercussions we will be expanding our family with outside help. I have already informed my first line so no harm no foul he didn't say no to me. If everyone else can do it there is zero reason I should be held to any dofferent requirements. I don't care if I am really awesome and my job and they need me. My family come first always. Now until forever. As it should be. Fairness, I'm not even sure what it means anymore all I know is I gave them the courtesy of informing them of my plans to expand my family, it's time I take fairness in my own hands because I'm not getting any younger.